Yesterday was the worst day of my life. My whole body felt so numb and my head was feeling so weird last night. I never wanted to go out to celebrate new year's eve because I'm in the middle of battling my mixed up emotion. I just feel want to scream out loud, smoke till I dropped and even feel want to just jump out from this window.
I am pathetic. I couldn't even say it out coz I was feeling so guilty. What's wrong with me, seriously?
I am not happy with myself right now. I know I've made promise to someone and I've broke the promise. I'm not supposed to go out and trying to cheer myself up while there's someone waiting for me and I didn't even tell them that I will be late. I wasn't sure to myself what I'm supposed to do. My head is full of frustration and almost challenged my sanity. I'm so down and I really don't have the mood to go out from this lifeless room. I've made terrible mistake and I'm not proud of it at all.
I just hope people could just ignore this pathetic girl and leave me alone with this heavy guilt.
To KS and A, I'm deeply sorry for making you guys waiting for me. I am trying to cope with the burden I'm facing and to settle it myself. I'm truly sorry for affecting you with my selfishness trying to escape from my own sanity.
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